So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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