We got so high we made milksteak
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
