community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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