So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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