You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
