Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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