she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize