There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
