you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
