I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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