made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
