i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
