I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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