I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize