I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
