butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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