hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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