i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
