hell yes lets make some ravioli
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
