I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
