It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
