last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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