I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
