I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
