He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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