ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
