i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
