Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
