I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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