I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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