All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
