No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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