A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize