too bad you live with your parents still
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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