i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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