Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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