So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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