Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
