You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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