My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
