i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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