I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
