he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
