I cockslap morals
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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