There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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