I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
50% drunk capacity currently
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
