She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
