come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize