Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
