When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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