Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
