STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize