Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
