Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
