I don't think brook has ever known best
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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