If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
