Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize