I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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