A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
