You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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