I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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