My room smells like vodka and shame
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
