you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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