Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I didn't notice because vodka
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
