no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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