the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
